Villainous Ruin
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: The heroic Chat Noir, along with a few friends, take on an atrocious ne'er-do-well.


"Help the good..." the tiny cat sighed as his cheese hand dipped deep into pot of greed. He licked it studiously and seriously. It was like twelve main courses and eleven picnics. The taste of succulence succulently eased onto his stubby paw with the oozing grandeur of people thinking about quarter-pounders.

The Adrien of the delish life took to the eyebrow putting and edged over to his fellow dude. "Plagg, how is that steezy cheesin'?"

Plagg eyed Adrien with his green orbs of orbital (Saturn has rings).

**"I really don't like bananas and lemons," **Plagg said boldly. **"Yellow is a poisonous colour that only works totes righteous on cheese."**

"Aw man..." Adrien said with speaking thoughts that crept through his cool throat. He turned to the spaghetti in the sacred container. "Do you wish to learn about my cheeses?"

"Totally not a cool thing," said Plagg. He turned his ear likewise and then otherwise got wise. "I sense bad."

Adrien craned his neck to the veranda and studied life essences. "I am a mature individual who understands the hope in hearts. But bad is so very bad!"

"Ow, my knee," said Plagg.

"Plagg, do not push up a single daisy!" warned Adrien as he did some bodacious transformation sequences to do the Chat Noir. He was faster than all the PS4's.

Plagg whined about Sony because he was all about dat Microsoft. He was so mad at and Google. The web was a tangled lie of webs.

"Funky!" said the cinnamon bun sassily as he bounded out the window to the Empire State Eiffel65. He was blue, but in the sad way. "I wonder if Milady will smoocher my hunky face..." he said to himself with melancholy suave.

"Did you call, dude?" asked Nino the Nino. He had his Funky Kong cosplay on because he heard the funkiness inside Chat Noir's previous sentence. As a smart listening ear, Nino knew many a Nino Ninoly.

"Hello, dude person," said Chat Noir with the Adrien angst. "I have a cold hard fist to jam into the face of evil terrors!"

"That is so true," Nino said as he tore his own shirt in two to boast Funky Kong values. "COCONUT!"

"I hate coconuts, but enjoy your presence," said the child of French cat knowledge.

"I am the stinkin' bad!" said a guy with razor-sharp teeth, razor-sharp claws, and a gnarly attitude.

"This is unbodey and makes my heart unwell!" said Nino the Nino. He despised grapes like that fox in the Aesop book.

"I cannot have you being a hater," said Adrien as he dabbed. He was not Dab Noir. He bought a cookie.

"I see that you have purchased that with real moneys," said the stinkin' bad.

"Aye, but I am not going to eat it! Do you know why, guy?" Adrien said with his taunting abs.

The stinkin' bad winked at a balloon overhead and grabbed on for flight purposes. He was now immune to ground attacks so Choice Band Excadrill was no longer a threat.

"My glorious heart..." Nino said with his knowledgeable eyeballs. He thought about how the "e" and "a" stood beside one another in "knowledgeable", yet could not comprehend their phonetic sanity. "This correlation makes my head spin!"

Adrien gasped at the sight of the spinning Nino noggin. It was like a rotor and allowed for flight procedures. "Holy Plagg Bananas!" said the good lad.

"This is a seen sight," observed the stinkin' bad. He pulled out his taser and shot at the moon. The moon fell onto Marinette's house. It was now dead on foundation.

"Who slayed my home thing?" asked the girl with the miracle life.

"That is a woman who I am maybe attracted to!" gasped Adrien. "Perhaps the two of us will wed in episode 78, 'So long, Adrien'!"

"Do not bet on our relationship, cat person who is not Batman. I only date Adrien individuals!" said Marinette, reading the comic books on the inside.

"Dang my holy seventh ear canal!" growled Adrien. He was Chat Noir and Marinette knew not of his very valuable secret indenity. Only the Nino knew for Nino was a god from the angelic paradise beyond time and space.

"Dude, you should pick new friends to join our totally dude squad, dude!" said the Nino, playing his bagpipe expertly and ideally perfecting magic toenails.

"I will!" said Adrien. He ran to the mailbox and sent invitations to Kim and Kim's rear.

The mail letter was sent and scented with Adrien's gorgeous cologne that (don't lie) you would buy.

"What is this interesting message?" asked Kim's rear.

"I do not know, my friend," Kim said to his counterpart. He was busy lifting 1,000 kg because he's better than you and me. I wish he didn't show off like that because he might hurt himself if he is careless. Neither I nor Kim's rear would want to pay for the funeral. That is because Kim is the coolest dude ever and Chloe is a wretched abomination who does bee things often.

"Do you want to be my friend?" asked Adrien's letter of cologne power.

"I do not want to befriend a guy with feline prowess," said Kim. "It scares my muscles."

"Well, I do," said Kim's rear. He dragged Kim to the train station and they flew to the scene of the crime.

"I am glad you could come, bro," said Adrien with his deadly smile that melted the hearts of anyone sane enough to come across it.

Kim smiled at his rear. "I am glad we came too! Now we can do deeds that spark curiosity."

"This Nino was brought to you by Arby's," said Nino, readying his crystal bow and arrow.

"That is so dude," said Adrien. He revved up his cinnamon bun and did a kick flip on his skateboard. Tony Hawk (the Hawk Miraculous) marveled at the glory in Adrien's attitude.

"I cannot ever see you defeating my evil soul, Chat Noir!" the stinkin' bad said with gruff esophagus appearances.

"Adrien, if you do a mighty 360, then this baddie will fall like gravy from the ewer," called Plagg from his cheese domain.

"Aight, boi!" said Adrien, but he did a 720 on his board because he hated Otto Rocket and was into Sony, not Microsoft.

"That was a cool trick," said the stinkin' bad. "But my feet are cooler!" He told Adrien to look at his Nike's.

Adrien saw the sick kicks and almost fainted because Nike's are so much cooler than any other shoe in France.

"Nino, how do we revive the spirit of the Chat Noir?" wept Kim into his bag of jerky. "See how he is tormented by that shoe?"

"Cease the bawling of your eye things, Kim!" said the Nino. He quickly broke into the bologna drawer and extracted pure heaven. He tossed it at his brohan.

Adrien caught the bologna betwixt his teeth. "I have procured justice!"

"It's not possible!" said the stinkin' bad. He then got a taste of his own medicine. The kid who we all knew as Chat Noir unleashed his deadly fury and all evil was expelled from the site of chaos.

"I have used holiness to quell fear, disaster, and famine!" said Adrien, abs ablaze due to his charisma shaking the ground like Choice Band Excadrill.

"Dude, the stinkin' bad is defeated and he can now be forgotten as a villain!" said Nino, reading off the ancient scrolls and unlocking the final character in SFV.

"That's cool," said Kim.

"That's cool," said Kim's rear.

"And now my life is entirely wholesome!" said Adrien. He flew back to Paris in his lead zeppelin. He sang with the captain and his crew during the flight. Plagg sat in the corner, studying biscuit ethics.

**FIN**


End file.
